Right now I feel springtime fresh as I jot out a brand-spanking new entry into this blog thingy (technology at its finest :) ) I've smelled like a decaying yak for the past couple of days as I enjoyed a much-needed trip down to Red River Gorge with some good friends. Sitting by the campfire enjoying the fourteenth hotdog of the day (obviously we come VERY prepared), we had an enlightening conversation about actually hearing God's voice. After throwing around some scriptures and deep thoughts, my bro "B" just said, "Why don't we just love God and do whatever the hell we want?" Now, "B" is currently a young adults pastor at a local Evangelical church. He grew up in that atmosphere, then went on to be involved in Campus Crusade, Student Venture, and various youth ministries. All that in consideration, we were obviously floored by what "B" said (or at least I was). It seemed so out of place. Then just as we were picking up our stones to do away with the heathen swine (just kidding!), it finally sank in: if we truly love Jesus, not just say we do but really love him, then we naturally do what He says. Jesus seems to make it pretty simple in John 14 when he says that if we love him, we'll do what he says. And since we're such doofuses, he'll send the Holy Spirit to help out anyways. For a guy like me who is always over-analyzing and second-guessing what the man upstairs is telling me, that whole "love God and do whatever you want" thing is pretty liberating. I kind of see it as a learning process when we're baby believers on. Charles Berger once said it goes something kinda like this: first there's unconscious incompetence (we don't know that we don't know), then conscious incompetence (we know that we don't know). Once we open our minds and begin to learn and obey, there's conscious competence (we know and must work at knowing), then finally unconscious competence (we know it so well, it's second nature). If we get in the practice of really listening and actually DOING what He tells us (radical, I know...), then maybe it'll just become second nature for us to obey and we won't be questioning his motives so much.



So here's where I'm coming from on this whole thing. These past few weeks have been totally nuts; all I really want is to hear a clear call from God. I want to go out and wash some feet, take care of some sick, but I only want to do it on his terms. Sounds great, right? But what do you do when God seems a little quiet? Does that mean I'm totally off base? Am I even doing the right thing? I even began to question if I've ever heard from God at all.



So I've been wrestling with this all month. And all I can hear Jesus saying is, "Trust me, I'm your friend." Personally, I think a good ol' fashioned burning bush or at least some firey writing in the sky would be helpful. But I suppose that wouldn't be walking by faith much, would it? So here I am, taking a step in the great dark, hoping with all my heart that He's there. And by the way, I realize this life is...well...rough to say the least. In fact, it's often like chewing glass...that's been dipped in acid...and is on fire. But what if God loves us SO MUCH that He would even give us enjoyable, wonderful things while we're down here? What if we deny ourselves, take up our cross, follow Jesus and He says, "I'm so happy you've come here, that I want to give you a gift of happiness, peace, and joy on top of eternal salvation"? I suppose what I'm getting at is I think God cares about us all so much, He uses even our desires and hopes to speak to us, and at times will grant those wishes (even if they're petty) because He's just the most amazing Father. I read this sad story about a dude in church who was sitting behind this mom and her toddler. The toddler was being quiet, but he was looking around and had just the biggest smile on his face. It totally made the dude's day to see him. But then the mom glanced over, noticed her son, and with a sharp smack said, "This is church! Stop that grinning!" When the tears started streaming down, she said, "Now that's better," and continued on with her prayers. The dude just wanted to hug the little boy and tell him all about his heavenly father who loves little boys who smile and laugh. This is the God of grace, love, and joy, isn't it. Is this not the God that loves us SO MUCH that he sent his one and only son for us? C'mon, sometimes even earthly dads buy their kids some candy at the store just to let them know they're special. Why wouldn't God? (especially if we're totally seeking after Him). Deeper than a question of how much can we get from God, is the question of just how deep is God's love for us. We should be grateful to the king of glory for all He's done (cuz we deserved nothing but flames up the rear anyways!), and live a life where we know that above all else, we can be like the apostle John and refer to ourselves as "the one Jesus loves." I need serious help there. Nevertheless, I have a feeling a Ferrari may not be in the mix for the future. Don't know why, just a strange feeling....



Well friends, keep wading through this muck and we're guaranteed to get to the good turf. Love be with ya'll.



jp

Last night i was hit with the "aren't you just being bitter" thing... and it has really made me examine whether or not i am...



it's in the good book that we ought to look at ourselves closely to make sure we're really following the man...



so i am looking into it. why would i harrass a pastor handing out donuts with my experience and my concerns? why do i meet with local youth ministers and any other church dudes who would and always push the limit? I'm always trying to strip it down to the real Jesus, not the one who's lacquered over with years of Americana Church Culture blahblah...



is this attention getting behavior? is this the ranting of an angry man?



maybe sometimes, yeah. undeniably, i am angry sometimes and i rant.

undeniably, i want to feel important and sometimes act out of that idiocy...



but there's more. In Jeremiah 8, god is all worked up because the priests and prophets didn't tell the whole truth about how bad things were... and they offered solutions to the spiritual problems of the people that were not deeply healing.



Jeremiah 8:11

They offer superficial treatments for my people's mortal wound. They give assurances of peace when all is war.



And that's what it feels like to me. I remember what it was like to read what Jesus said for the first time and really live it out... that was really healing to my sick soul...



but around here, you're more likely to encounter a watered down thing that's primarily about church culture and meeting attendance than real life and the power of the Holy Spirit that's described in the Bible with jesus and the first wave of xians...



so i speak from that perspective, but not with malice. it's with HOPE that maybe some americana churchies will bust out and stick it to the man and Live hardcore for christ. then they'll find healing and joy...



as it is, many are lukewarm.



i don't think this is a bitter rant.



Lew

A response to John wallis' Mar.24 entry

i share your frustration. about the political thingy, what'dy'a callit? nucular presidency?



and about the gay marriage thing! oh man are we ever like the dudes in John chapter 8 who dragged that skanky lady to jesus to get her lynched for slutskys... and jesus coined the phrase, "let him who is without sin cast the first stone".



i think religious people who wanna get all angry about this stuff and get up in the grill of folks ought to spend that much energy and more on helping their families and others' families find the mercy that brings justice and motivates righteousness out of love...



as for the political angle, it's hard evidence that the church has lost power to inform culture that this kind of legislation has even been proposed! surely the political battle will divert our attention from our real need to repent as the american church and live by the standards we claim to...



i wish christians would just all fall to their faces in anguish over how we've disgraced jesus and how we've neglected the poor and justice and how we really don't have the Holy Spirit in our lives!



man, i'd like to see us drop by the roomfull in abject recognition of the reality that we are a total failure!



and remember that the goal we're failing in is to please Jesus, not to show the world something. he's what it's all about...



the political angle, and the church growth things and all this postmodern emerging crap is all evidence that we're lost! let's fall...



Lew

i'm skateboarding a lot and today i had two experiences that juxtaposed the worlds I live in. On the one hand, i'm have a serious Jesus fixation. I love Him more and more... On the other hand, i'm embarrassed at how so much serious BS is passed off as His trip... and i want to please Him and share His love with all my friends...

On the other hand, i live in this world where real friends are few and far between, and there are all kinds of things out there trying to get us to destroy ourselves and each other in a big mayhem party... and i have to speak into and listen to that world on this journey. and i have to keep it real... i am not a church christian... i'm a world walking christian... and that means that keeping it real and being painfully honest with J. is more important to me than anyone's opinion... but that doesn't keep people i respect from having the power to really hurt me... and people i don't respect, too... pain hurts and words have huge power...



blahblah, here's the experience:



first, i went to a skateshop after two or three hours kicking the heck out of myself at a local skatepark. they had a video on and it had awesome skateboarding on it... then there was this really long segment with a candle lit and the words "dedicated... to...the...Lord..." scrolling to soft music. then "...just kidding" with an upside down cross...

the other guys watching explained to each other that it was a spoof on one of the christian skaters who always includes what they called "god shit" in his video clips...



then, i got home and got sent to Kroger just around the corner from my house for a loaf of bread.

outside Kroger there was a team of two families passing out donuts. donuts before i shop for groceries? glazed ones with greasy sugar and all... good thing they were passing out napkins! (why not gum, or soda, or wrench sets?... or just some money for my groceries?... or maybe a backrub or foot massage?)

anyway i scarfed my donut while i hobbled around the aisles at about .05mph (remember, i skated today and i'm almost 31 and it's a bit much on the joints) and i read the card they gave me with the donut.

it was all about their church that they were starting in a school nearby and "please dress casually" and "professional childcare" available and all that...



...then i read the thing that caught my attention. "a New United Methodist Church"



so when i went out i asked the guy who gave me the donut what an underlined "new" meant, whether it was a chronological thing, or in reference to the nature of the kind of church it was going to be... the guy (who turned out to be the pastor) said it WAS about the kind of church, and i said, "so it won't be crappy and dysfunctional like all the others?"

and he said, Yes, or something like, yeah i know what you mean...



So we talked about it and he said some stuff and i wrote him this email: the names are changed to protect reps and stuff...



here's the email:

hi k,



thanks for the minutes outside Kroger...



i'm not sure that this conversation will be easy, but when you put yourself out on the street like that, you're asking for it.



i think i need to let you into the question a bit more. i guess my question could be phrased:



"what is the difference between 'a New' UMC and the 'old' kind?" because i'm intimately acquainted with the old kind, having worked the same job, hired for the same reasons, trying to walk out the same call, in three successive churches and i encountered the same dynamics in all three churches...



they were in orlando, FL, Western KY, and Loveland.



not to mention all the friends i have who have encountered the same dynamics from california to NY!



and then you said something that sounded to me like:



"well that's how churches are. wherever you get a lot of people, you get their disfunction..."



and i said something like,

"well, that's kinda scary and outrageous, especially when you think of Jesus..."



and that little interaction made me wonder if maybe "the park" might bein danger of ending up like all the other lukewarm churches around who give Jesus such a bad name...



just today i heard His name mocked because of the way churches are so worldly, weak and compromised... the young people i'm praying for call talk of Jesus, "God Shit" when they hear it...



d. got me to work with him after two bad experiences because his heart for the lost is as big as a barn. but his will to fight wasn't, and my family paid a high price.



are you ready to fight?



i won't be surprised if you don't answer such an inflammatory email. i respect that you carry a heavy load as a pastor and that you may feel wounded by my words...



i just can't keep my big mouth shut because nobody's speaking up for the cause of the lost... you see, when we lead people in the ways of the Lord and fight the good fight, the world can see that Jesus is real...





so that was the interaction. and i put this on this blog because i think it's important to express and put this stuff out in the open. i feel love for churches and church people. Jesus loves his people who meet in so many pointy buildings. but i know that it's not cool that they live in such a different manner than the love described in the good book...

i also feel love for people who hate god. i think they're the most important people in the world... Jesus was their friend. and they thought he was jam... i want to be their friend, even if they flay me and hoist me...

a grey friday morning. snow is still sticking in spots...



This month we sent our friend Prari, one of our church's founders, to Kenya. She's like 20 years old, petite and cute. She was a barista at Starbucks and was raised on Friends and MTV, but there she goes, infected with a call from Christ to hold the dying and love the poor.



She's hooked up with a lady named Sylvia Suhr, who started "Kenya Sow or Go". She's a godly, Spirit-Filled woman with incredible faith.



Now it looks like we might send John Parran, the closest thing to an associate pastor we can scrounge up on the front lines, to join Prari for the rest of her time there... In a perfect world, we'd have them both back in September. In reality, the adventure of joining Jesus in His work can be addictive and lifelong...



They are ministering in an area of Kenya where there is a 34 percent aids rate. Everybody knows death well there, and there are MANY orphans. This is one of the most desperate areas on the planet. We are happy to be a part of its turnaround through the power of salvation in the Gospel of Christ!



There are many miracles happening through the church there: healings, provision, there are even rumors of people rising from the dead! I have very little difficulty believing it. Only the lukewarmness of the church here grooms disbelief in such things. They pepper the Bible so liberally that I'm compelled to expect them.



Which brings us to the Cincinnati homefront:

We are in a time of waiting. Waiting for the Spirit to visit us and give us power to be witnesses.



We have baptized two believers this month, sending one to Kenya. There are many who are hearing the uncompromised Gospel of Christ. But very few have received the power of the Spirit. And so we are waiting...



We are also pressed. We work hard to get by in a generation where getting a salary and working faithfully for Jesus are hard to pull off. Sometimes the pressures can bring out the worst in us. That's when we see how much we need the Lord. We're pretty exhausted between all these things, but your prayers lift us up! So please pray:



That we LOVE!

That the Spirit visit with POWER!

For a Video Camera to send to Kenya

for our web development so you can see what's happening more clearly...



Lew

So what do you get when you put a bunch of rag-tag, needy freaks in a room with an all-powerful God who has a strange affection for the broken and hurting? You get church. Real church. Not the church where the people care more about the building or programs than Mrs. Jones who lost her husband of fifty years last week. Nor the church where a bunch of rich know-it-alls gripe about the political correctness of "Onward Christian Soldiers" rather than pay attention to the girl who was date-raped last night. Nope, you get the church of Jesus. The church of the gathered bleeding.



This is my first blog entry (obviously). I'm not really skeptical, nor am I very cynical, but I'm just a dude with plenty of issues and plenty of thoughts. Not necessarily thoughts about anything great, or even that spiritual all the time, but just thoughts. In fact, I usually pose more questions than answers. That often leaves me pretty confused and scratching my head.



But back to the beginning. I've been a believer in this yahoo called Jesus for about four years now, and I'm a living, breathing lab experiment that verifies the power of the drug he's developed. What drug, you ask. Love, plain and simple. Isn't that what it comes down to anyways? Now I know my beginning comments may appear a bit standoffish, but to be honest, I love church. I love being able to go somewhere where I am greeted warmly upon entering, can hear songs about a lover from a far-off land, and can finally see true unity in people. It sounds like I'm more in love with "Cheers"....But what I am truly enamored with is when those in the church go out of their ways to really love one another. I suppose that's what separates us from the set of "Cheers": the fact that we are supposed to actually make it our lives to take care of one another. In fact, that's what originally actracted me to the Body of Christ, the church. Anybody can give a good handshake or play a nice song, but really loving someone, that's...well, divine. I remember after I first became a follower of Jesus (and even before), there was this group from a local church that would take me out to eat or invite me over to their houses. They always footed the bill, even when I had a little bit of money (which was rare, and still is!). What totally floored me was they didn't do it to get an opportunity to throw a track in my hands, or use me to increase their attendance or reach some obscure people group. They did it because they loved me. Don't get me wrong, Bible tracks rock. But for a guy like me, actually being shown that I mattered as a person and not a statistic blew me away. I've been going with this ever since.



Sadly, that kind of faith is becoming more difficult to find, especially here in America. Beyond the songs, the sermons, and the recreation centers, our call is to love. Deeply, honesty, radically, dangerously. It kind of reminds me of when Jesus told the Jews they were all slaves (John 8). We're the same way, getting all uppity and self-righteous when anyone challenges our comfy world. But the truth is, denial ain't just a river in Egypt! Spiritual or not, we're all a slave to something, but we get to choose our master. So why not choose a master whose nicknames are "Love," "Peace," and "Helper?" And why not experiment with loving the way Jesus loved. Sure, we'll probably die (figuratively or physically). But every great adventure and everything worth fighting for always has some level of risk. Why not radically serve a God who promised us more than the world?



That's all I've got for now. We'll see what thoughts come pouring in. Peace to ya'll.



jp

First Entry:

Coming up:



Family Pics!

Bios for Lew, Judy, Seth, and Aaron

Photos of prospective new house



Lew

open rant space:

Christianity

Justice talk

kind of a live journal with Lew.



An Entry About Judy:



My name is Lew Ross and I live in Cincinnati with my family.

My wife is Judy. She grew up in the philippines, the daughter of tough-as-nails dutch parents who immigrated to the US in the 50's, lived mediocre lives until God inerrupted them in 1970. They had judy in 71, when they were in their 40's. then they went to the Philippines to start churches in the boonies where all the other missionaries didn't want to go... he's like, a plumber and off he went. and no mission society would help them except the fly-by-night fringe groups. That is, until he started like his first few totally indigenous churches that were just based on Christ, not western money...



and so Judy is a gentle radical. when I met here she was ready to go to tibet and share love and truth where there was a vacuum for the message of Jesus.



you may notice a major presupposition in my story: that the message of Jesus is superior to that of Buddha. please forgive the apparent arrogance of such a position. bear with me. I'm just trying to tell my story and that of my family. I'm also trying to accomplish some other things, like spread the message that there is something even better than enlightenment and karmic progress...



i'm talking about friendship with the personal creator god of the universe... and that's why jesus died on the cross. that's what i'm intent on fully enjoying while i'm visiting the planet.



and that's what i found in Judy! So i married her. i was 18. now i'm thirty (almost thirty-0ne).



Side Note: i always want to be older. i grow a beard and wear glasses and i like how they make me look fifty. wanna know why? because i crave earthly legitimacy. but it melts when i start talking about following Jesus... folks who require it just do what they're gonna do... End Side Note



So I married Judy. We went to Southern France for 3 months to heal from the scathing criticism of family and friends at our christian college who told us that we'd be a divorce statistic. And ever since then, we've loved the lost and journeyed with jesus and had people in our house who grow in love and understanding of who jesus is, what he meant, and what it is to follow him...



yep, i think Jesus is superior to all the other ways. but i think that many followers of other ways are superior to me. they are more dedicated, have more integrity and passion. their lives are more totally dedicated to their master and they are better focused...



yes, many followers of other ways are much superior to me. you teach me. you are wonderful. come discover jesus! he loves you. He says he is humble and gentle and will teach you how to pull with His yoke. An offer of perfect slavery.



So Judy is my wife, my woman, my Lover... We're walking this adventure together. She's into photography and writing, loves raising and schooling our kids. Works with Foreign Exchange Students.



Judy is a Regional Coordinator for a major foreign exchange organization... She is GREAT at what she does. She got me into it and I love working with these international kids... Because of our work there, we get to take our kids on trips all over the place.

We just got back from a trip to Prague and Southern Germany...

We took the kids! It was great.

We had a German girl live with us as a daughter for a year. We lived with them for a week. it was awesome...



for now...



lew

It's Time.



Time for the first installment.



Quick note:

Lew and Judy are looking for a new house. Aaron (9) and Seth (2) are almost always in the van for the ride. Judy's parents, Johannes and Clazina, are coming to live with us, so we need something with the right first floor and parking arrangement...



Johannes and Clazina are in their 70's and in adequate but declining health. C. has 4th stage renal cell cancer and J. is diabetic and high blood pressure... Stuff like that...



They are retired missionaries to the Philippines. J. (John to most americans,they're dutch), anyway, john started a whole mess of churches from absolutely nothing by showing the Jesus film and teaching leaders... he's a true pioneer. Stubborn as a mule in the past, softening with age...



So we're all moving into some mammoth house with a big heating bill where we hope to do life in an old way, with Jesus...

And we want to adopt some kids.



'djya ever notice... (andy rooney)

...that the whole world would be transformed if just a small percentage of the people who could would... if those who thought about it and had no compelling reason not to--adopted someone? I'm just talking about the church people, whose lives are said to be all about giving and leaving the world behind...



seriously, imagine if just half of those who professed to follow the guy who showed us the path in a gift-life of suffering and sacrifice, really opened their lives as a gift, and sacrificed their status and stuff on love's altar...



ok, maybe half's too many. way too many! just 1 of 10 wealthy christian families who could pay the 15,000 dollars for an adoption...



you get my point... it's not that i think you're always wrong if you're not adopting right now, it's just that when i became a follower of jesus, i thought that the community of believers would be a radically different place... a place where love and justice met and kissed.



we're all wrong, and loving and doing radical right things, banded as brothers and sisters in a family, taking care of each other, is what Jesus modeled to us and taught us as christians... and Jesus remains the only one who is right! Let's follow him...



you know?



yesterday we found what could be the place for us. an old funeral home so big you could fit three families of four in it...



and i think of David, a friend of my friend John. He's on the streets of Cincinnati. He has a terrible skin disease on his legs. He says he got it in Vietnam... He gets beat up and is constantly drunk... This month he got hit by a car, so he's constantly stiff...



The other day we were on our way into Chipotle and JP just starts lovin' and talkin to this guy and emptying his pockets into david's hands... and i'm thinkin... no i'm feeling... this is right, and couldn't we give D. a safe place for a night and a shower and my friend the doctor could look at his legs... and a new set of clothes?



just to get clean? and a fresh pair of jeans? and maybe much more! maybe David will decide that he wants to serve Jesus instead of the heartbreak that made him crazy... maybe D. will have a holy spirit encounter and get really healed...



we're moving down there... and we're gonna be there... (right now we live pretty far outside cinci...)



and we'll see what's shaking when we get there...



forget adoption... think what if the christians just started to love, really find out what love means and do it, to the homeless and the stranger. yeah, they'd victimize us sometimes, maybe a lot, but probably not. and some of us might get hurt, or die.

and that'd look a lot like Jesus...



and some of them would discover the true meaning of Christmas! maybe a lot. like ten or twenty or a hundred... but forget about them! What about us? what would we discover that's been lying like treasure in a field?



Forget all the church growth and modern/postmodern stuff... we need to be a people of deep love.



But this'll force us to rely on the supernatural experience of the holy spirit. We'll need comfort and teaching and strength to die well in the thing...



imagine the relief to the government if Christians just took seriously the call to minister to the guys who got waylaid on the road--good samaritan stuff... loving our neighbor... what?



what? is that too radical? too complicated?



nobody needs to forsake their church or denomination! nobody needs to get a new culture or stop listening to secular music... just let's love each other really well and love the poor and hurting stranger who's out in the cold tonight...



forget solving the problem of poverty and homelessness and insanity and orphanages... let's just let our lives be spent on loving this one guy this one time, this one kid today, this wife, this brother or sister...



forget being relevant to the world and the culture. let's just be relevant to the one guy who matters--jesus! and love someone dammit!



you know this already. nothing new here. just the same old commandment.



bro.Lew for today...