i ran on this one today, I've posted my points as comments. Please share your heart and mind in the comments, too! All you Kupps, get in there and comment! Make this worth it! Let your voice be heard.
Psalm 15
A psalm of David.
1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?
2 He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart
3 and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,
4 who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,
5 who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Sunday, March 19, 2006
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Eugene
Eugene came into our life here in Northside about a year back... He got "hooked" by Chris and the boys at the Chambers house (which will soon be rented to other people, as the guys all move into 1325 Chase!!!).
He has a wife and kids (the whole story is his. no other corroboration) and they live a few blocks away... his story unfolded over months, revealing more and more jail time and drug use... but he portrayed himself as a son of a deacon, non-religious man who lives mostly for himself and is now homeless because his marriage has dissolved...
He constantly asked us for money. We shucked out big bucks to get him ahead and had to stop because we weren't making rent and whatnot--no kidding... we learned that that isn't love, necessarily...
Zach and JP really went to the mat with it. They told him repeatedly and passionately that we couldn't cover his financials out of our monetary resources--that we can't bankroll ya, man--but that we want him to become our brother in Christ. There are worse things than poverty, you know?
Hell, for example?
We offered him all we felt we could. He only wanted money. If he asked for money for a ride across town, we offered him a ride (and lunch), but he didn't want that. he would treat us like we were being mean when we did that. This happened in a lot of ways...
at different times, i felt we were "making progress" and that Eugene might let us be family to him in God, soon. but he pulled away, wanting money, change, any money, but not HELP, and not company... Not friendship...
I saw Eugene yesterday, as the storm started rolling in. He was in winter clothes, even though it was unseasonably warm. He was homeless, now (we helped him with two jobs in the past--he lost them both).
Where you livin?
at the Drop Inn...
how are ya?
as good as could be expected.
Eugene, I really want to help ya, man (im thinkin)
bro, i'm sorry (is all that i can put on the table...)(Jesus, i'm sorry, is what i'm thinking...
How are we to love Eugene? He's homeless, troubled by the consequences of a million bad choices... not his own, either, all of them... He's a lost sheep!
He's not safe. We sense great anger in him (yoda?) and can't welcome him into the house, we feel... that is a community thing, there... this whole thing has been handled in community, sother's a lot of submission involved in it...
when some people in our community, who have wisdom and discernment gifts say that something's not okay to do, we listen. What?
So, there's Eugene, standing in the spitting rain. He doesn't want to get in the car and go somewhere. He doesn't want to stay at the house, except to live the same old life out of it...
"I would ask you for money, but I know I can't," he says.
"Eugene, what about Jesus?"
"I told you; my dad's a deacon and I know about church."
"Yeah, but what about following Jesus, in your life, today? What about totally giving up and devoting yourself to Him and giving up all your old ways?" (there was major alcohol on him today)
"Man, I go to church. It's Jesus how I made it to today! He helps me with everything!" He says... "I just want some help today."
I don't remember how I responded. It was something that included, "there are worse things than this poverty... there's hell," at which Eugene kind of rolled his eyes and "signed off"...
I feel responsible to love Jesus in my fellow man. I feel especially responsible to Eugene, as he is poor and homeless... but I wonder how I can be of any help to him... We don't run a shelter. We run homes, out of which we offer authentic fellowship to those who crave Christ. Please pray for us. Please pray for Eugene.
I feel I'm wrong, deeply. That something is broken. It's not okay. It's wrong...
And I feel that it can only be put right by prayer... It's not all Eugene. It's not all us...
maranatha....
He has a wife and kids (the whole story is his. no other corroboration) and they live a few blocks away... his story unfolded over months, revealing more and more jail time and drug use... but he portrayed himself as a son of a deacon, non-religious man who lives mostly for himself and is now homeless because his marriage has dissolved...
He constantly asked us for money. We shucked out big bucks to get him ahead and had to stop because we weren't making rent and whatnot--no kidding... we learned that that isn't love, necessarily...
Zach and JP really went to the mat with it. They told him repeatedly and passionately that we couldn't cover his financials out of our monetary resources--that we can't bankroll ya, man--but that we want him to become our brother in Christ. There are worse things than poverty, you know?
Hell, for example?
We offered him all we felt we could. He only wanted money. If he asked for money for a ride across town, we offered him a ride (and lunch), but he didn't want that. he would treat us like we were being mean when we did that. This happened in a lot of ways...
at different times, i felt we were "making progress" and that Eugene might let us be family to him in God, soon. but he pulled away, wanting money, change, any money, but not HELP, and not company... Not friendship...
I saw Eugene yesterday, as the storm started rolling in. He was in winter clothes, even though it was unseasonably warm. He was homeless, now (we helped him with two jobs in the past--he lost them both).
Where you livin?
at the Drop Inn...
how are ya?
as good as could be expected.
Eugene, I really want to help ya, man (im thinkin)
bro, i'm sorry (is all that i can put on the table...)(Jesus, i'm sorry, is what i'm thinking...
How are we to love Eugene? He's homeless, troubled by the consequences of a million bad choices... not his own, either, all of them... He's a lost sheep!
He's not safe. We sense great anger in him (yoda?) and can't welcome him into the house, we feel... that is a community thing, there... this whole thing has been handled in community, sother's a lot of submission involved in it...
when some people in our community, who have wisdom and discernment gifts say that something's not okay to do, we listen. What?
So, there's Eugene, standing in the spitting rain. He doesn't want to get in the car and go somewhere. He doesn't want to stay at the house, except to live the same old life out of it...
"I would ask you for money, but I know I can't," he says.
"Eugene, what about Jesus?"
"I told you; my dad's a deacon and I know about church."
"Yeah, but what about following Jesus, in your life, today? What about totally giving up and devoting yourself to Him and giving up all your old ways?" (there was major alcohol on him today)
"Man, I go to church. It's Jesus how I made it to today! He helps me with everything!" He says... "I just want some help today."
I don't remember how I responded. It was something that included, "there are worse things than this poverty... there's hell," at which Eugene kind of rolled his eyes and "signed off"...
I feel responsible to love Jesus in my fellow man. I feel especially responsible to Eugene, as he is poor and homeless... but I wonder how I can be of any help to him... We don't run a shelter. We run homes, out of which we offer authentic fellowship to those who crave Christ. Please pray for us. Please pray for Eugene.
I feel I'm wrong, deeply. That something is broken. It's not okay. It's wrong...
And I feel that it can only be put right by prayer... It's not all Eugene. It's not all us...
maranatha....
The Latest
It's been a while since i just posted you some news...
This Friday, CHris, Sheena and I will take a group of us over to a buddy's youth ministry to do some "sahngin'". Chris has written some really good rap pieces that we will do. It's so easy to accompany a rap. Using the guitar as a rhythm instrument. Just a few chords... One of the pieces is like a reggae thing. It's fun to do...
Judy and Lew and the boys are doing very well. after the trip to Ireland, we overcame jetlag and settled into our jobs.
Lew got a kind of promotion from CIEE. I'm now working as an "LC Team Leader". That means I help people to place students and get them hooked up with info, resources, advice, and crisis help during the year... I won't have to supervise as many kids, myself, now. I hope that this will cut the number of hours and the amount of energy I spend in "volunteer" work. (they pay me a little, and I get the two yearly trips. It chips away at the bills, and I get a sabbatical of sorts during the trips...
JP and Prari are getting ready to wed on April 8th. They're really ready... It's so great to see a godly young couple entering into marriage with the understanding that no matter what, because of GOD, we're not splitting. Paralysis, Coma, Craziness, won't split us up! Judy and I have teamed up with Erwin (pastor of North Pres. church) to do "counseling" with them,and It's been wonderful!
Zach is finishing up his degree in political science (read his blog to see what that will do to ya) with a minor in Human Rights (or is it a major?). He continues to sharpen me (Lew) with his insights into our need to put action to our faith, daily, locally, and globally... I have enjoyed his blog...
This past Sunday, we had a time of sharing in the Word (Bible/and the person of Jesus) during which we were all challenged to refresh our committment to really beleive what Christ taught. Hard stuff like absolute sexual purity, and the existence of hell, and the Judgment, and God's call to us to come out of sin and into the light... in addition to our call to be mercy to our neighbor...
Yesterday was really warm. I put on shorts, a tee, and sandals for theday... we spent time outdoors in the afternoon (after we were all done with work) with our neighbor kids... Seth and I went to udf for gatorade and to the playground to swing. Lots of thunderstorms.
Saturday night, judy and I were awakened by the thunder of heavy storms... and our LEAK was back... It looks like the gutters clog up and the water backs up into the roof, flows down inside the wall, and comes into the house under the window of the first floor closet...
I'll be putting on my carpenter hat soon...
but before that, I'll be getting a hernia fixed. Yep. In addition to 3 breaks inmy ribcage last summer, a broken foot about two years ago, and my "unique-functioning" hip, I'm adding a hernia to my skateboarding injury list. I blew out last october on a fall. I pretty much figured, back then, but now i'm sure...
I'm not even scheduled yet, but the docs are working on it. It's really something how long it takes to get operated on... iif i were really sick, i'd have a dickens of a time getting treatment. not to mention coordinating the doctor's referrals with my health coverage... wow! that was hard... had to use phone, internet, phone, internet, phone... how do old people do this? without computer savvy, i'd have been sunk...
and the house across the street is back on the docket. Having fallen through due to bank foreclosure, we were in "prayer mode" about it for about a month. Now, they've come back to us, cleared to sell it. We're ready to go. Looks like the whole place'll be full by May... Our community will inhabit 3 dwellings by then.
There's a real build in intensity here. There's also a sense of "not-yet-ness" or "pent-up-ness" to us. We have tons of gifts and talents represented in our group--tons, but there's so little understanding/willingness/boldness/guidance on how to all get going...
the young lady who can sing and play the guitar is busy making a baby, the other young lady who is an excellent singer and knows songs that could really set us free has only just discovered our musical poverty. The incredibly gifted young man with talents for writing rhyme has begun to impart more hip hop and rap stuff to us--we're looking forward to crafting a worship style that expresses our love to Jesus in our language...
others wonder how they fit in/whether they have a "place"--they simultaneously keep others from sliding into the abyss--they are kingdom messengers, operating in humility and love... they are the greatest among us...
But you know what? If you want to know what it's like here, the only thing to do is to come spend a few days or a week with us. Don't miss a sunday night, or a Wednesday Dinner...
We're rough around the edges...bedraggled...washed ashore on grace...
We love Christ because he first loved us... and in Him,we'll end up loving you, too, somehow...
This Friday, CHris, Sheena and I will take a group of us over to a buddy's youth ministry to do some "sahngin'". Chris has written some really good rap pieces that we will do. It's so easy to accompany a rap. Using the guitar as a rhythm instrument. Just a few chords... One of the pieces is like a reggae thing. It's fun to do...
Judy and Lew and the boys are doing very well. after the trip to Ireland, we overcame jetlag and settled into our jobs.
Lew got a kind of promotion from CIEE. I'm now working as an "LC Team Leader". That means I help people to place students and get them hooked up with info, resources, advice, and crisis help during the year... I won't have to supervise as many kids, myself, now. I hope that this will cut the number of hours and the amount of energy I spend in "volunteer" work. (they pay me a little, and I get the two yearly trips. It chips away at the bills, and I get a sabbatical of sorts during the trips...
JP and Prari are getting ready to wed on April 8th. They're really ready... It's so great to see a godly young couple entering into marriage with the understanding that no matter what, because of GOD, we're not splitting. Paralysis, Coma, Craziness, won't split us up! Judy and I have teamed up with Erwin (pastor of North Pres. church) to do "counseling" with them,and It's been wonderful!
Zach is finishing up his degree in political science (read his blog to see what that will do to ya) with a minor in Human Rights (or is it a major?). He continues to sharpen me (Lew) with his insights into our need to put action to our faith, daily, locally, and globally... I have enjoyed his blog...
This past Sunday, we had a time of sharing in the Word (Bible/and the person of Jesus) during which we were all challenged to refresh our committment to really beleive what Christ taught. Hard stuff like absolute sexual purity, and the existence of hell, and the Judgment, and God's call to us to come out of sin and into the light... in addition to our call to be mercy to our neighbor...
Yesterday was really warm. I put on shorts, a tee, and sandals for theday... we spent time outdoors in the afternoon (after we were all done with work) with our neighbor kids... Seth and I went to udf for gatorade and to the playground to swing. Lots of thunderstorms.
Saturday night, judy and I were awakened by the thunder of heavy storms... and our LEAK was back... It looks like the gutters clog up and the water backs up into the roof, flows down inside the wall, and comes into the house under the window of the first floor closet...
I'll be putting on my carpenter hat soon...
but before that, I'll be getting a hernia fixed. Yep. In addition to 3 breaks inmy ribcage last summer, a broken foot about two years ago, and my "unique-functioning" hip, I'm adding a hernia to my skateboarding injury list. I blew out last october on a fall. I pretty much figured, back then, but now i'm sure...
I'm not even scheduled yet, but the docs are working on it. It's really something how long it takes to get operated on... iif i were really sick, i'd have a dickens of a time getting treatment. not to mention coordinating the doctor's referrals with my health coverage... wow! that was hard... had to use phone, internet, phone, internet, phone... how do old people do this? without computer savvy, i'd have been sunk...
and the house across the street is back on the docket. Having fallen through due to bank foreclosure, we were in "prayer mode" about it for about a month. Now, they've come back to us, cleared to sell it. We're ready to go. Looks like the whole place'll be full by May... Our community will inhabit 3 dwellings by then.
There's a real build in intensity here. There's also a sense of "not-yet-ness" or "pent-up-ness" to us. We have tons of gifts and talents represented in our group--tons, but there's so little understanding/willingness/boldness/guidance on how to all get going...
the young lady who can sing and play the guitar is busy making a baby, the other young lady who is an excellent singer and knows songs that could really set us free has only just discovered our musical poverty. The incredibly gifted young man with talents for writing rhyme has begun to impart more hip hop and rap stuff to us--we're looking forward to crafting a worship style that expresses our love to Jesus in our language...
others wonder how they fit in/whether they have a "place"--they simultaneously keep others from sliding into the abyss--they are kingdom messengers, operating in humility and love... they are the greatest among us...
But you know what? If you want to know what it's like here, the only thing to do is to come spend a few days or a week with us. Don't miss a sunday night, or a Wednesday Dinner...
We're rough around the edges...bedraggled...washed ashore on grace...
We love Christ because he first loved us... and in Him,we'll end up loving you, too, somehow...
Monday, March 6, 2006
nothing more radical
there is nothing more radical than to be kind and patient, blessing enemies and critics...
there is nothing more revolutionary and liberating than the Person, Jesus. Presenting him to the nations, daily, one soul at a time, is the honor of his church, his people, his emmisaries, his ambassadors, kings and queens, priests and priestesses, sons and daughters, beloved children, wind and wave walkers...
there is nothing better than love. that's it.
that's the kingdom.
that's the prophets
that's moses
that's the scholarship of heaven...
there is nothing better, higher, nobler, truer...
there is no one more magnetic than Jesus, who draws us to the kingdom of love--or repels us, depending on the polarity of our hearts and minds...
Herod believed the same truth that the Wise men did. Yet he was repelled and the Magi were drawn...
Jesus describes the polarity of the kingdom in the Sermon on the Mount... if your heart leaps with relief as you read it, you are polarized correctly... if the ship of your ambitions is dashed on the rocks of hope as you hear Him, the rejoice!
if you are poor
downtroddend
brokenhearted
storm-tossed...
humble
sick
but if you are proud
rich
satisfied
content
beware... (LUke 6'll do for now...)
thinking on these things today at the Sidewinder Cafe...
there is nothing more revolutionary and liberating than the Person, Jesus. Presenting him to the nations, daily, one soul at a time, is the honor of his church, his people, his emmisaries, his ambassadors, kings and queens, priests and priestesses, sons and daughters, beloved children, wind and wave walkers...
there is nothing better than love. that's it.
that's the kingdom.
that's the prophets
that's moses
that's the scholarship of heaven...
there is nothing better, higher, nobler, truer...
there is no one more magnetic than Jesus, who draws us to the kingdom of love--or repels us, depending on the polarity of our hearts and minds...
Herod believed the same truth that the Wise men did. Yet he was repelled and the Magi were drawn...
Jesus describes the polarity of the kingdom in the Sermon on the Mount... if your heart leaps with relief as you read it, you are polarized correctly... if the ship of your ambitions is dashed on the rocks of hope as you hear Him, the rejoice!
if you are poor
downtroddend
brokenhearted
storm-tossed...
humble
sick
but if you are proud
rich
satisfied
content
beware... (LUke 6'll do for now...)
thinking on these things today at the Sidewinder Cafe...
nothing more radical
there is nothing more radical than to be kind and patient, blessing enemies and critics...
there is nothing more revolutionary and liberating than the Person, Jesus. Presenting him to the nations, daily, one soul at a time, is the honor of his church, his people, his emmisaries, his ambassadors, kings and queens, priests and priestesses, sons and daughters, beloved children, wind and wave walkers...
there is nothing better than love. that's it.
that's the kingdom.
that's the prophets
that's moses
that's the scholarship of heaven...
there is nothing better, higher, nobler, truer...
there is no one more magnetic than Jesus, who draws us to the kingdom of love--or repels us, depending on the polarity of our hearts and minds...
Herod believed the same truth that the Wise men did. Yet he was repelled and the Magi were drawn...
Jesus describes the polarity of the kingdom in the Sermon on the Mount... if your heart leaps with relief as you read it, you are polarized correctly... if the ship of your ambitions is dashed on the rocks of hope as you hear Him, the rejoice!
if you are poor
downtroddend
brokenhearted
storm-tossed...
humble
sick
but if you are proud
rich
satisfied
content
beware... (LUke 6'll do for now...)
thinking on these things today at the Sidewinder Cafe...
there is nothing more revolutionary and liberating than the Person, Jesus. Presenting him to the nations, daily, one soul at a time, is the honor of his church, his people, his emmisaries, his ambassadors, kings and queens, priests and priestesses, sons and daughters, beloved children, wind and wave walkers...
there is nothing better than love. that's it.
that's the kingdom.
that's the prophets
that's moses
that's the scholarship of heaven...
there is nothing better, higher, nobler, truer...
there is no one more magnetic than Jesus, who draws us to the kingdom of love--or repels us, depending on the polarity of our hearts and minds...
Herod believed the same truth that the Wise men did. Yet he was repelled and the Magi were drawn...
Jesus describes the polarity of the kingdom in the Sermon on the Mount... if your heart leaps with relief as you read it, you are polarized correctly... if the ship of your ambitions is dashed on the rocks of hope as you hear Him, the rejoice!
if you are poor
downtroddend
brokenhearted
storm-tossed...
humble
sick
but if you are proud
rich
satisfied
content
beware... (LUke 6'll do for now...)
thinking on these things today at the Sidewinder Cafe...
i'd be catholic
did you all know that I spent a long time last year, looking into the Catechism of the Roman Catholic church... Being out here, without a denomination, or a "sending church"...
years back GCF in wilmore ky was our sending church. we still count them as such. They just never have managed to visit us or really connect with us in "action" in many ways... I did share a 4 minute "missions moment" there about a year back. That's one contact at a corporate level per 9 years, as I count it. It made quite a splash and i felt deeply loved with that kind of affection where you get remembered and you realize that there IS a place for you at this table...
I'm hoping that i can be connected in some meaningful way to the church in this world, y'know? is that so wrong for an urban missionary? to want someone to have his back? To have a place at the table?
every one of the urban black pastors has his own "sending church", forming and apostolic network among congregations. It's very...
The local Presbyterian church has offered me something interesting along these lines, recently. They have recognized who we are in Christ and have rejoiced to affirm us in the work of the Gospel...
I spent a while looking into the Catholic church because they are very humble, lately...
and they don't seem to "kick out" people who don't "fit in", like Saint Francis, columbus, et al...
they keep their own well enough...
and some of the best stuff has come through them... as well as the worst... sounds like the Bride of Christ... sounds like me... i can relate to that leprous history...
But i couldn't swallow several of the main doctrines that come from traditions that aren't propounded directly by Scripture... so i had to settle for being Catholic, but never "Roman". you know?
There's this thirst among my contemporaries, for the ANCIENT ways of the faith. There's a renewed interest in "The Fathers" of the faith. It's a good thing, but a lot of us get sidetracked into the traditions of men... sidetracked into superiorizing the traditions above Scripture and the Holy Spirit... into a "heady" faith, full of physical pieties, but compromised in the gritty deeds of love...
This is where i think of how i owe the Catholic church a great debt (or rather the Father in Heaven!--for all the examples of people radically devoting themselves to service to the poor... nuff said for now...
please be gentle in your comments... relax and breathe deep. i realize that this might rub some wrong on both sides of a divide... i love you all inChrist and am HERe..
years back GCF in wilmore ky was our sending church. we still count them as such. They just never have managed to visit us or really connect with us in "action" in many ways... I did share a 4 minute "missions moment" there about a year back. That's one contact at a corporate level per 9 years, as I count it. It made quite a splash and i felt deeply loved with that kind of affection where you get remembered and you realize that there IS a place for you at this table...
I'm hoping that i can be connected in some meaningful way to the church in this world, y'know? is that so wrong for an urban missionary? to want someone to have his back? To have a place at the table?
every one of the urban black pastors has his own "sending church", forming and apostolic network among congregations. It's very...
The local Presbyterian church has offered me something interesting along these lines, recently. They have recognized who we are in Christ and have rejoiced to affirm us in the work of the Gospel...
I spent a while looking into the Catholic church because they are very humble, lately...
and they don't seem to "kick out" people who don't "fit in", like Saint Francis, columbus, et al...
they keep their own well enough...
and some of the best stuff has come through them... as well as the worst... sounds like the Bride of Christ... sounds like me... i can relate to that leprous history...
But i couldn't swallow several of the main doctrines that come from traditions that aren't propounded directly by Scripture... so i had to settle for being Catholic, but never "Roman". you know?
There's this thirst among my contemporaries, for the ANCIENT ways of the faith. There's a renewed interest in "The Fathers" of the faith. It's a good thing, but a lot of us get sidetracked into the traditions of men... sidetracked into superiorizing the traditions above Scripture and the Holy Spirit... into a "heady" faith, full of physical pieties, but compromised in the gritty deeds of love...
This is where i think of how i owe the Catholic church a great debt (or rather the Father in Heaven!--for all the examples of people radically devoting themselves to service to the poor... nuff said for now...
please be gentle in your comments... relax and breathe deep. i realize that this might rub some wrong on both sides of a divide... i love you all inChrist and am HERe..
HOpeful RANt
i've always believed that RIGHT HERE/RIGHT NOW is your calling and your purpose... to sit and steep in God and His Mercy through Christ, by faith... to marinate in Grace and effuse that aroma to a world so full of death...
i've always KNOWN that just loving the persons nearest me supercedes any "calling" or "purpose" contained in fine religious vocabulary...
Looking at the parable of the Good Samaritan, I see that scum like me--the slugs of the religious world--are God's "favorites" for highlighting His mercy to a world so dying...
Being patient, merciful...serving instead of insisting on your own way...giving instead of taking, getting, and keeping... the way of the Cross...
What? isn't that the kingdom? won't that take you where you're supposed to be? isn't that what it is to dip into "Purpose"?
That's never gonna sell a million copies, unless you count the Scriptures that have dominated the book market from the day the press was invented...
o that they were read as oft as they are purchased...
i've always KNOWN that just loving the persons nearest me supercedes any "calling" or "purpose" contained in fine religious vocabulary...
Looking at the parable of the Good Samaritan, I see that scum like me--the slugs of the religious world--are God's "favorites" for highlighting His mercy to a world so dying...
Being patient, merciful...serving instead of insisting on your own way...giving instead of taking, getting, and keeping... the way of the Cross...
What? isn't that the kingdom? won't that take you where you're supposed to be? isn't that what it is to dip into "Purpose"?
That's never gonna sell a million copies, unless you count the Scriptures that have dominated the book market from the day the press was invented...
o that they were read as oft as they are purchased...
Sunday church at North Pres
Giving Your Heart
"Is a soul busy, seeking after Christ? Would it worship him, and does it say, Alas! I am a foolish and poor creature, and have nothing to offer? Nothing! Hast thou not a heart, though unworthy of him, dark, hard, and foul? Give it to him as it is, and be willing that he use and dispose of it as it pleases him; he will take it, and will make it better, and thou shalt never repent having given it to him."
--Matthew Henry's Concise
yesterday, in church, I came to sit next to "Duke", a boy of somewhere around 10 years old. He says he doesn't know how old he is. he held up 7 fingers and said "eleven" when I asked. His partner sitting there told me he was 11. I don't know...
Two days earlier he was at our house. He had asked me, trembling, whether he could see my snake. He was afraid I'd be mad that he asked. He spent the next hour getting used to her, eventually letting her sit on his neck.
At church, I was sitting across the Sanctuary from him. I didn't see him when I walked in . When he saw me, he waved and looked amazed that I was there... like he felt like a lucky kid... I didn't know that I inspire awe in these little kids... I do, you know. They are awed at me. It's wonderful to be in their lives, but i need to be there more, and more present in being there... more loving...
They were misbehaving in the church service, though. a dear sister is showing old Duke the door, but he's manipulating his way out of it, "I have to get my brother". The brother is up front right now, listening to the "children's moment" where Sister Theresa is signing the message to them, talking about God's love and how to pray... Duke goes up and Sister Theresa hooks him into sitting in the front--he's rescued!
Duke continues mildly misbehaving, bringing general chaos around him by merit of not knowing what's going on, what it means, and how to act. To me, it was just basic, general human living. To the well-intentioned sister in the back, as much was evident, as well. When D. was dismissed with the other children to go downstairs my Sister was back with him tout de suite, seated in the back, where she continued to manage him and his partner. She hung in with them, patiently, helping them complete the whole service with us...
So I moved myself and my stuff (and my illicit cup of coffee) over to that side of the Sanctuary during a song or responsive reading or whatnot... I settled in and really got into a wonderful place with those two young boys.
They made that service wonderful to me. Explaining communion (how freaked out they were about the blood!), D says to me, "Sometimes I do bad things. I wanna be good but I do bad." with these basset hound eyes! Man, how i loved him right there...
About every five minutes i had to "father" the boys with a "Hey, don't you know you're in church?" Or I had to grip their little round heads... At one point I took away some candy (to give back later). Another time I moved d over and sat between the two of them.
As we held the bread and Sister Sincere was praying, I pointed it out to the boys. At the moment before d ate his bread, He said to Sister Sincere, "I'm sorry I was bad earlier." "What?" she says.
"I'm sorry I was bad, earlier," he says with the eyes...
Did i mention that he kept laying his head on my thigh and resting his eyes, nodding off to sleep? He can't be eleven years old. He seems more like seven.
Did i fail to mention that he touched my beard, "I've never seen a beard like that!" He put his hands right in it and pulled and prodded...
"Is that the new style," Partner asks.
"No. It's the very old style," I reply. "Jesus has a beard like this."
"I think you are Jesus," D says.
"Naaw, but i'm Jesus' friend," I say.
That was one of the best worship services in the world... And as they took the bread and wine, they breathed prayers of thanks to Jesus. Classic presbyterian liturgical fare with a huge splash of Jesus' kids "wrecking" it for me...
Before the communion, as i was explaining how Jesus offers us forgiveness through the cross, D told me that he was bad a lot of times. I told him that Jesus knew that and that so was I. I told them both that Jesus would make us better if we would trust him and follow him. But that our badness would never stop his love for us--that's why I love Jesus so much. No one else can stand my badness.
Then today I read this in the Commentary, online at the Sidewinder. I thought it was a fitting opening for this piece.
"Is a soul busy, seeking after Christ? Would it worship him, and does it say, Alas! I am a foolish and poor creature, and have nothing to offer? Nothing! Hast thou not a heart, though unworthy of him, dark, hard, and foul? Give it to him as it is, and be willing that he use and dispose of it as it pleases him; he will take it, and will make it better, and thou shalt never repent having given it to him."
--Matthew Henry's Concise
yesterday, in church, I came to sit next to "Duke", a boy of somewhere around 10 years old. He says he doesn't know how old he is. he held up 7 fingers and said "eleven" when I asked. His partner sitting there told me he was 11. I don't know...
Two days earlier he was at our house. He had asked me, trembling, whether he could see my snake. He was afraid I'd be mad that he asked. He spent the next hour getting used to her, eventually letting her sit on his neck.
At church, I was sitting across the Sanctuary from him. I didn't see him when I walked in . When he saw me, he waved and looked amazed that I was there... like he felt like a lucky kid... I didn't know that I inspire awe in these little kids... I do, you know. They are awed at me. It's wonderful to be in their lives, but i need to be there more, and more present in being there... more loving...
They were misbehaving in the church service, though. a dear sister is showing old Duke the door, but he's manipulating his way out of it, "I have to get my brother". The brother is up front right now, listening to the "children's moment" where Sister Theresa is signing the message to them, talking about God's love and how to pray... Duke goes up and Sister Theresa hooks him into sitting in the front--he's rescued!
Duke continues mildly misbehaving, bringing general chaos around him by merit of not knowing what's going on, what it means, and how to act. To me, it was just basic, general human living. To the well-intentioned sister in the back, as much was evident, as well. When D. was dismissed with the other children to go downstairs my Sister was back with him tout de suite, seated in the back, where she continued to manage him and his partner. She hung in with them, patiently, helping them complete the whole service with us...
So I moved myself and my stuff (and my illicit cup of coffee) over to that side of the Sanctuary during a song or responsive reading or whatnot... I settled in and really got into a wonderful place with those two young boys.
They made that service wonderful to me. Explaining communion (how freaked out they were about the blood!), D says to me, "Sometimes I do bad things. I wanna be good but I do bad." with these basset hound eyes! Man, how i loved him right there...
About every five minutes i had to "father" the boys with a "Hey, don't you know you're in church?" Or I had to grip their little round heads... At one point I took away some candy (to give back later). Another time I moved d over and sat between the two of them.
As we held the bread and Sister Sincere was praying, I pointed it out to the boys. At the moment before d ate his bread, He said to Sister Sincere, "I'm sorry I was bad earlier." "What?" she says.
"I'm sorry I was bad, earlier," he says with the eyes...
Did i mention that he kept laying his head on my thigh and resting his eyes, nodding off to sleep? He can't be eleven years old. He seems more like seven.
Did i fail to mention that he touched my beard, "I've never seen a beard like that!" He put his hands right in it and pulled and prodded...
"Is that the new style," Partner asks.
"No. It's the very old style," I reply. "Jesus has a beard like this."
"I think you are Jesus," D says.
"Naaw, but i'm Jesus' friend," I say.
That was one of the best worship services in the world... And as they took the bread and wine, they breathed prayers of thanks to Jesus. Classic presbyterian liturgical fare with a huge splash of Jesus' kids "wrecking" it for me...
Before the communion, as i was explaining how Jesus offers us forgiveness through the cross, D told me that he was bad a lot of times. I told him that Jesus knew that and that so was I. I told them both that Jesus would make us better if we would trust him and follow him. But that our badness would never stop his love for us--that's why I love Jesus so much. No one else can stand my badness.
Then today I read this in the Commentary, online at the Sidewinder. I thought it was a fitting opening for this piece.
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