--Matthew Henry's Concise
yesterday, in church, I came to sit next to "Duke", a boy of somewhere around 10 years old. He says he doesn't know how old he is. he held up 7 fingers and said "eleven" when I asked. His partner sitting there told me he was 11. I don't know...
Two days earlier he was at our house. He had asked me, trembling, whether he could see my snake. He was afraid I'd be mad that he asked. He spent the next hour getting used to her, eventually letting her sit on his neck.
At church, I was sitting across the Sanctuary from him. I didn't see him when I walked in . When he saw me, he waved and looked amazed that I was there... like he felt like a lucky kid... I didn't know that I inspire awe in these little kids... I do, you know. They are awed at me. It's wonderful to be in their lives, but i need to be there more, and more present in being there... more loving...
They were misbehaving in the church service, though. a dear sister is showing old Duke the door, but he's manipulating his way out of it, "I have to get my brother". The brother is up front right now, listening to the "children's moment" where Sister Theresa is signing the message to them, talking about God's love and how to pray... Duke goes up and Sister Theresa hooks him into sitting in the front--he's rescued!
Duke continues mildly misbehaving, bringing general chaos around him by merit of not knowing what's going on, what it means, and how to act. To me, it was just basic, general human living. To the well-intentioned sister in the back, as much was evident, as well. When D. was dismissed with the other children to go downstairs my Sister was back with him tout de suite, seated in the back, where she continued to manage him and his partner. She hung in with them, patiently, helping them complete the whole service with us...
So I moved myself and my stuff (and my illicit cup of coffee) over to that side of the Sanctuary during a song or responsive reading or whatnot... I settled in and really got into a wonderful place with those two young boys.
They made that service wonderful to me. Explaining communion (how freaked out they were about the blood!), D says to me, "Sometimes I do bad things. I wanna be good but I do bad." with these basset hound eyes! Man, how i loved him right there...
About every five minutes i had to "father" the boys with a "Hey, don't you know you're in church?" Or I had to grip their little round heads... At one point I took away some candy (to give back later). Another time I moved d over and sat between the two of them.
As we held the bread and Sister Sincere was praying, I pointed it out to the boys. At the moment before d ate his bread, He said to Sister Sincere, "I'm sorry I was bad earlier." "What?" she says.
"I'm sorry I was bad, earlier," he says with the eyes...
Did i mention that he kept laying his head on my thigh and resting his eyes, nodding off to sleep? He can't be eleven years old. He seems more like seven.
Did i fail to mention that he touched my beard, "I've never seen a beard like that!" He put his hands right in it and pulled and prodded...
"Is that the new style," Partner asks.
"No. It's the very old style," I reply. "Jesus has a beard like this."
"I think you are Jesus," D says.
"Naaw, but i'm Jesus' friend," I say.
That was one of the best worship services in the world... And as they took the bread and wine, they breathed prayers of thanks to Jesus. Classic presbyterian liturgical fare with a huge splash of Jesus' kids "wrecking" it for me...
Before the communion, as i was explaining how Jesus offers us forgiveness through the cross, D told me that he was bad a lot of times. I told him that Jesus knew that and that so was I. I told them both that Jesus would make us better if we would trust him and follow him. But that our badness would never stop his love for us--that's why I love Jesus so much. No one else can stand my badness.
Then today I read this in the Commentary, online at the Sidewinder. I thought it was a fitting opening for this piece.
Lew you're so cool
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