Tonight at Chase House

sitting with Smitty. listening to Johnny Cash. Johnny's songs embody the criminal's grief and penance. i really relate to that. some of his songs are downright sad and kinda morbid, like "Delia's gone" and "Cocaine Blues", but I like them. I know Johnny was a christian and that his walk with Jesus was reflected in his identification with the convict and the crimina embodied a bold compassion... any of you who saw "Walk the Line" will see what is only the beginning of his walk with the Lord... i love the theme of rescue, and how the people who rescued him were criminals and sinners, themselves, in a way...

so, around the big table, we were Zach, Smitty, Lew, Chris Challis... Ryan visited for a moment. Guinness disappeared. Pipe smoke rose. Kids were all tucked in, and we all googled and looked into minimum wage stuff. Justice is perishing from our nation. Justice is especially perishing from the heart of the church people...

we have gravitated, by and large, to comfort and security--loved this world and the things in it. Pointing this out brings a lot of criticism--proof of truth... What i mean is that the American church has gravitated, as a culture, as a people, to security, money, suburban lifestyle, comfort...

I mean, there were a couple brothers here visiting from a multi-million dollar community, yesterday. I delighted to be able to share with them our love for... our addiction to... simple closeness to Jesus... I don't care what their multi-million does. I just want the brothers themselves at our table. them and their families.

i started this stuff here in a desperation for the love of the community of Christ... out of NEED, not out of a sense of knowledge or expertise. you see, i was really messed up before i found jesus, and serving him left me deeply scarred, as community after community took turns on me.

now, i'm starting to... not so much heal, as the scars are always with me, and the weaknesses are the dwelling places of God's strength, but to Grow in Grace...
...not so much HEAL, since the goal of Christianity isn't wholeness, as it is brokenness. it's all upside down. i'm looking for family that holds me up as i attempt to descend into the place of Jesus, who lost all to heal us...

and dear sister amy got questioned, and will undoubtedly be ostracised for "foolishly" obeying jesus' word and helping a man who needed...

o lord, awaken us! and save me!