I was wrong, I'm sorry, I love you, please forgive me...

I'm struggling with criticism.



I mind help in seeing what I already know about me: that I'm a redeemed, beloved fallen person who contains glory and love, yet falls so short so often... That I sometimes make choices to act and not to act based on my selfishness and wickedness...



Yes, I mind it. I really do. You see, I already Know! Knowing that I'm an oaf isn't the problem! Knowing that I was a degenerate sinner, a failure, didn't measure up, wasn't living up... These are what I cut my teeth on! No need for further poundings from everyone else...



I'm not building my life on being on the ball, or being in control. Don't get me wrong! I CARE! I care that the resources God grants be used in a way that glorifies Him, but the PEOPLE keep getting in the way. You see, in a choice between getting all the "i"'s dotted and comforting the lonely heart of a penitent sinner with the Word, I'm all over the heart.



There are so many, too. They surround us. And my yard's a mess for it... Now am I copping out that my yard's a mess because my house is so full up of souls? yep.



But let's take it back to when... you know what? my house has always been full of souls...



Did you ever hear of Jonathan Edwards? Greatest theologian of the Great Awakening? He couldn't get his own wood cut. He was the author of "Sinners in the hands of an Angry God". He was the real deal, and he couldn't keep his lawn cut, either...



Years back, a genteel Christian brother put his arm around my shoulders, leaned in, and with gravest concern said that he was grieved that my witness to my neighbors was so poor, because my lawn wasn't mowed often enough.



I'm out. If that's the way it works, I'll never make it. I have too many 3-year olds, too spirited a wife (read: wisdom from God), too many foreigners in my home, too many Bible studies for new believers, too much LIFE...



I'm out of that system. I signed up for the God who loves the sick, not the perfectly healthy. I've been frustrated that I'm still so imperfect, but now, I'm sticking it out there that if i'm not perfict enuf fer u, tuf. ckeep it 2 yersilf fer a wile...



but if you see need in me, a place where you can help, beyond pointing out my little faults, messy house, and the like, JUMP IN. Are you a good woodcutter?



My friend JP is a great woodcutter. He believes in me, deeply. He mowed the lawn this summer while I worked on other stuff... At the end of the day, we're both exhausted. At the end of the day, it was all about Jesus... And he never rails on me...



You Know?



I'm not talking about just a little criticism, either. It's important to share hearts and minds adn find servanthood for real with each other. I'm talking about a culture of criticism that comes from our consumeristic ideal as rich americans! It's of the evil one, man.



So next time you think of "helping" someone by "sharing" their faults with them, think about that they probably know and are already ashamed...



Think of how there're are likely a few more desperately important and damaging things lurking under their surface that they'd love some help with, but you're so hard on them for the small stuff that they retreat.



day after day,

month after month.



disconnected

lonely

afraid



lighten up and get under a load with someone, man... girl....