reminiscence on the past

it took over 70 years for my father in law to get sick. i mean life-changingly sick. sure, he'd had a stone here and a mini-stroke there (miraculously healed in car on way to hosp.). he broke his kneecap into 4 pieces one time. he had malaria as a youth, while he was in Indonesia in the Dutch army.

but around the summer of 2001--June--he got a staff infection in Mexico. THAT was sick. Weeks stretched into months and he was a goner. in a rare lucid moment he said he wanted to go. I told him we would take care of Mom and that everything was ok... it was like that, you know.

enter Johan, the eldest son. Comes into that hospital--i mean, Dad's dying here! Tubes, breathing machine. hadn't spoken for months. Missed--totally missed--September 11th. No kidney function. Dialysis... Doctors were going to cheese-knife his kidneys to see if anything was left! and in comes Johan, prays HARD, out loud, anoints with oil... and from that day Dad had an inexplicable turnaround...

i remain the dutiful son in law, who says, "it's okay. you go ahead and die." to his father in law. what a parable... in this one, i look real bad... (i'm way worse than that, so i don't mind playing that part.)

anyway, when dad got out of the hospital, he was broken. 86 pounds lighter, with this look of fear in his eyes, like a child, or a wild bird with a broken wing.
One fall would have killed him. no kidding. And the fear of going back to those tubes and machines and cold steel and cold hands and needles and all that was nipping at, no--it was like a horrible satan-dog from hell just snapping and baying at him like on "I Am Legend" in that one scene... you know?

That was in the early 2000's. Judy was pregnant with Seth. She traveled back and forth every week, sometimes twice a week--routinely twice a week--to Wilmore from here. I was at a UMC (methodist joint) getting my liver served up to me for making the wrong kind of disciples. Mom was... Mom.

Mom Weiss always cooked for us. Stuff from the Old Country, like potatoes with Kale mixed through, or soups with lots of sausage in them... She always pushed me to eat. Heck, in the first 3 months of marriage, I gained 20 pounds! That was mostly muscle, back then, because I was very very skinny when I married Judy, but Mom's cooking made me healthy. (i just ate taco bell before that--for like a year)

Mom Weiss always cleaned up after us. The whole family. She was so servant-minded. I think she knew her reward awaited her on the other side. She was often burdened, but served with grace. Always.

Mom embodied sainthood. And Mom loved Jesus. That's what she knew--Jesus. Her education in school ended around the sixth grade, but she loved Jesus and she knew the Word and she was wise. And she served...



And shortly after Dad's release she was diagnosed with terminal cancer, and 3 to six months to live (maybe a year, i don't know now). Renal. Kidney-Lungs-brain: that's the progression. Her kidney had a softball on it. Lungs were FULL of cancer--doctor wondered how she could even walk around. Three tumors on her brain.

So we gathered and prayed, with the oil and the faith, and God took all but four small spots of cancer out of her lungs. The brain we got radiation (didn't like that a bit). and they tried to cut off blood to the kidney one...

2 and a half years later, we were moved into this great mission-house here in Northside together to weather the season of Mom's passing. Dad had regained a lot of strength since his severe illness, but seeing Mom fade as she did took a lot out of him.

Shortly after moving into this house together, Mom passed away in early June. Her Body was laid to rest in Spring Grove Cemetery, just around the corner...

There are many beautiful things and moments in those days of sickness, weakness and death. Not just the things we got out of it, either. In fact I am appreciating what those days got out of me.

Like a strong soap, they've removed from me the expectation of strength and health, prosperity and ease, that I had before... To be true about it, the Scriptures had already scoured my mind of a lot of that. I never found health adn wealth in this world to be the promise of Scripture, although I enjoy and abundance of both. But going through what we went through in those days exercised my faith in a way that confirmed the reality of my hope in Christ--our hope in Christ...

So why this meditation? I don't know. My uncle got cancer once. He's better now. Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma... I have a cold and coughed all night, like when I had whooping cough (but much less violent).

There's something about infirmity in the body that is really really good for the soul. Saint Peter said it in the Book: "The body that suffers is done with sin." Experience bears that out.
Mom's passing. Wow. It's been like 4 years. that's not a long time. We're basically still IN that experience, to some degree.

Dad came back from six months of living in the Philippines, last week. Miserable with physical ailments typical of that part of the world, now 80 years old, with memory weakening... he's been getting more fragile. And if you've known Johannes Weiss, you know that fragility wasn't in his expectation of life. he was sure that he and Mom would be raptured!

It was amazing to hear his utter disappointment after Mom's passing. Astounding. He had never prepared for any death at all. He was sure they were going to be raptured by Jesus. you know, 1 thess 4? Caught up while still in the body? I'm talking about their expectation that Jesus would return and take them away! He was very very disappointed.

Well, he's not too cool with the arrangement that worked out. If Johan hadn't raised him up,he would have gone and Mom would have followed in a minute. As it is, he's left here to wander around for a little longer.

So when I wake up with a cough, like I did for a month during the winter, and it's spring and the birds are starting to chirp at 4am. I get dressed, make tea, have some hummus and pita, and think out loud with you, friend reader.

thanks for spending this morning with me.